This month:
After dinner speaking demands drama, pathos & humour!
A few years ago I was undertaking quite a lot of after dinner speaking. Although I wasn’t registered with an agency, I was getting a fair number of bookings. A little later I had to give up - I just didn’t have sufficient time. I’d become more involved in training saddle fitters and was also writing a couple of books and the days just weren’t long enough. A few weeks ago I decided that it would be a good idea to take up after dinner speaking again – I’d enjoyed it previously and I’d met some very interesting people, not all of whom were involved with horses. I mentioned my renewed interest to a couple of friends, as a result of which I was asked to speak at a supper club. I suggested various topics for my talk and, much to my surprise, although none of them were horse owners, they asked for a talk about my work, my earlier involvement with horses and what it was like to compete abroad.
Of course, it is far more difficult to give a talk to a group of people having very little knowledge of the subject. It’s obviously necessary to avoid using a huge number of specialist phrases and in-words that won’t be understood without considerable explanation. On the other hand, it’s important to include a sprinkling if the audience is to get a real insight into the subject. In my opinion, after dinner speaking should include plenty of light and humourous moments
I began by explaining how careful riders must be to treat saddles with extreme care, never dropping them or allowing them to fall to the ground. I ventured into a very brief description of the inside of a saddle and what can happen if a saddle is dropped. Then I told them about a saddle that had suffered one such accident. It involved a riding holiday group in Wales. Everybody in the group was an experienced rider and the leader – myself as it happens (this was years and years ago) – had accordingly planned some quite demanding routes involving very steep inclines and a few quite sheer drops. The views were quite wonderful and we halted for lunch at a particularly panoramic spot. As usual, I asked everyone to remove their saddles and give their horses’ backs a wipe and brush over whilst we waited for the picnic lunch to be unpacked by one of my staff. I noticed that one member of the group had wandered away and was sitting on a rock wiping over her saddle whilst she admired the view. Suddenly a piercing scream destroyed the peace. The girl was looking down in horror at the sheer drop. I rushed over and was in time to see her saddle, a long, long way below, bouncing from rocky outcrop to rocky outcrop. She was upset – and so was I! The saddle that was being bashed from rock to rock was almost new - and I was finding it quite difficult enough to make a reasonable profit running a holiday and trekking centre. I did my utmost to hide my irritation - but I gave way to exasperation when the young woman, herself a horse owner with several years’ experience who definitely knew the answer before she asked the question. ‘Do you think the saddle tree might (repeat, might) be damaged’! I told her in quite clear terms the sort of damage I thought the saddle had incurred! Looking back years after the event, I can see the funny side. I recollect giving the girl my horse, complete with saddle, and riding her horse – minus saddle – up and down some demanding terrain. (I might add that horse had the slipperiest back I’ve ever encountered.) I made certain my supper club audience caught a glimpse of the drama, pathos and sheer funniness of the situation!
Then there was the time we were at an event. A very worried looking rider came rushing over and asked if there was any chance I might be able to lend her a dressage saddle. Apparently she always travelled her saddles in plastic dustbins. Packed around with blankets, she found transporting saddles to competitions this way ensured they weren’t damaged. Sounded quite a good idea – but it had gone badly wrong that morning when her husband, trying to be helpful, by mistake loaded up the dustbin containing the household rubbish! My horses were much bigger animals than hers and their saddles were completely unsuitable for her much narrower horse – even for the few minutes she would be in the dressage arena. Anyway, all was not lost because a second dustbin contained the saddle she used cross country. Despite all the drama, the young woman must have coped well because later in the day I saw her at the prize-giving. I imagine that, from her husband’s perspective, it was just as well she went home with a rosette!
KEN LYNDON DYKES is a Society of Master Saddlers’ Qualified Saddle Fitter who specialises in fitting competition and problem horses. He is available to give demonstrations and talks and has recently returned to after dinner speaking on a wide variety of subjects. Telephone: 01622 844440 (office) or 07973 501873 (mobile).
