The Voice Within!
Written by Alison Short
Life is full of constant challenges and yet what some of us achieved today can seem pipe dreams for others.
Familiarity moulds us into the can do's, those who do confidently, the can't do's, those who don't think they can but will endeavour to try (succeeding if coached correctly), and the wont do's, those who won’t even entertain such thoughts of failure.
As a child I struggled with many tasks set to me at school and soon discovered at a very early stage that to give up trying was easier than failure, this led me a large way through my early life refusing to get drawn into a topic that I saw no logic or future in understanding.
I very quickly began to be put into the lower sets in many subjects and at that I thought the pressure was off, but there was only one problem… now I was in the won’t do's and I didn't like it!
The thought of failure appeared not to faze me but internally I was fighting with it….” I wasn't stupid!”
Had I been able to get out of my new “coached” mind set I would have worked out that the only difference between me, the can do's and the can't do's was that I didn't learn” parrot fashion”, which was all most of my tutors seemed to speak. It took me many years to work out I was a can’t do (can if I try) and to that I owe a huge thanks to my equine friends.
I believe that to excel at anything you have to be motivated and that may stem from an ability to be good at it, or a vision of your self actually doing it. There are many talented riders who have never succeeded because without vision they struggle, and the negative moves into the fore front leading them to failure.
As an example, if you diet you have a goal and within it a vision of how you want to change your appearance, all the time this goal is there you believe it is reachable, but on the day you weigh and you lost nothing that person you don't want to see reappears, moving you towards a negative goal and leaving you unable to see the positive goal.
The first key to a positive goal is who you have around you.
Anyone who constantly reminds you of your limitations must be kept at arms length, having two people around you whispering negative comments is the last thing you need.
So who is the second person? ………………MINI ME!
You know that little voice inside your head telling you you are rubbish, the one I'd like to eradicate!
One of my clients a young girl and 13.2 pony had a fall whilst out hacking, the pony took fright and ran off with her ,this resulted in her being thrown off and ending up in hospital, fortunately her only injury was a very bruised hip.
The whole experience brought back a vivid image of her first pony that was rather buzzy and shattered her confidence. On her return from hospital she relived her accident many times telling all her friends of her ordeal, it was all she could think about.
She bravely sat on again some days later but was terrified, on her first lesson since the fall she remained on the lunge, again reliving it blow by blow, it wasn't until we talked in more detail that I discovered she was on the last few minutes of a wonderful hack, having had several controlled canters which she had really enjoyed.
I asked her to make the image she saw of those happy times as big as the negative, re-living the feel of control and fun she was having now making it a bright picture projecting it onto a cinema screen, we then shrunk down to size the negative image like clicking on minimise button on a computer screen, making it black and white and turning the volume off!
Now with her new outlook on that eventful day she has only a positive vision.
In less than two months the progress they have made is remarkable cantering confidently in open spaces again and attending jumping rallies.
Here are a few helpful tips on keeping positive
• Keep a clear and logical perspective on risk, if you have only fallen off once in three years statistically it's unlikely to happen every time.
• Set realistic and achievable goals even if others think they are unadventurous.
• Spend time gathering positive thoughts before you ride, predicting only a positive outcome.
• Practice keeping mini me positive, controlling the volume in those negative moments.
• Try to think of your output whilst riding on a scale of 0 to 10 using only 0 to 5, getting louder with your riding can often trigger tension to your horse, this way you have more to make use of if it’s needed, achieving a better reaction.
• Create an icon who you aspire to, observing them regularly noting their posture and composure.
• Lastly, remember that if your horse lacks confidence it is up to you to help them to overcome it, try to build a confident friendship, it will see you through a lot!
Alison Short is a fully insured freelance trainer as well as a listed British Dressage Judge, Call 07719900275 or email alisonshort@btopenworld.com
